Why ‘just be yourself’ is terrible advice for women leaders
“Just be yourself.”
It sounds empowering , but for many women in senior roles, it’s not only unhelpful but sometimes downright confusing.
In a recent Female Lawyers’ Club masterclass, leadership coach Anya Smirnova explored why authenticity can feel complicated for women leaders, and how to navigate it without holding yourself back.
The career advice every senior female lawyer needs right now
At first, I was slightly put off by the title Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Dr Lois P. Frankel.
I worried it might reinforce the tired myth that women have to be ruthless, or worse, unpleasant, to succeed. Early in my career, one of my most important role models was a female partner who was both highly respected and kind. She proved that you don’t have to sacrifice decency to achieve authority. We all know women (and men) in leadership who are not kind, but that is not the model most of us aspire to.
What female lawyers can learn from The DOSE Effect
Like many lawyers, I’m curious about why some days feel manageable and energising, while others leave us depleted before lunchtime. When I read The DOSE Effect by TJ Power, it put language and structure around something many of us already sense instinctively: our brains are running powerful chemical systems in the background, and modern working life often pushes those systems in the wrong direction.
For female lawyers in particular, juggling demanding careers, emotional labour, and responsibilities outside work, understanding how these systems operate can be genuinely empowering.
The question to ask before you say yes
Coming back in January after the break can feel like being thrown straight back into the deep end.
Targets reset, expectations stay high, and somehow we’re meant to be back at full speed straight away.
Last week in Female Lawyers’ Club, we hosted a brilliant masterclass with Vikki Pratley, former lawyer and founder of the StressLess Academy, on avoiding burnout while still staying ambitious and performing at a high level.
If this week feels hard, you’re not alone
Happy new year!
Who am I kidding? Let’s be real – no one is feeling happy this week.
It’s the first full working week after the holidays.
For many of us, Christmas and New Year are a strange mix of stress and relief. We spend weeks rushing to get everything done, and then just as we start to relax, enjoying the lie ins, good food and drink, and switching off a little – SNAP! It’s suddenly over.