If you’re tired of spinning plates, read this
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”
Last week, we welcomed executive coach Linda Spink (no relation!) to Female Lawyers’ Club for a brilliant, grounding, and very human masterclass about sustaining a long, successful legal career without burning out.
Linda works almost exclusively with lawyers: barristers, partners, senior associates, and women navigating big life transitions. The session was warm, reassuring, and full of practical wisdom that resonated with everyone who joined in.
Here are the top insights and takeaways.
1. Your career has seasons - and each one needs a different strategy
One of the most validating parts of Linda’s session was her reminder that life doesn’t stay static, and neither should our expectations of ourselves.
She showed how the demands on women lawyers shift over time. Although many of the examples in the session naturally centred around parenting (because that’s what came up in the discussion), every woman goes through shifting seasons of life: caring responsibilities, health challenges, career transitions, relationship changes, grief, reinvention, or simply evolving priorities.
Linda explained how the pressures look different depending on where you are in life…
Young children → time poverty, patchwork childcare, feeling constantly “behind.”
Teenagers → emotional labour, unpredictability, and still very little bandwidth.
Grown-up kids / empty nest → a rediscovery of identity, energy, confidence, and space.
Women often feel guilty for not operating at “peak” during every season.
Linda's central message was enlightening:
You are not supposed to be the same person at every stage of your life.
Instead of fighting your season, design your career around it.
2. Sustainable success requires boundaries, and they have to be intentional, not accidental
Linda shared real coaching examples of senior female lawyers who hit breaking point because they had been relying on hope rather than structure to protect their time.
Her invitation was simple:
Ask yourself: What boundary do I need in place right now to feel sane?
It could be:
No meetings before 9.30am so you can breathe in the morning.
A protected weekly gym class (and no guilt for attending it).
One evening a week that is strictly yours.
A limit on weekend working.
Linda explained that boundaries are simply structures that protect what matters to you. Without them, everything else expands to fill your time.
3. Most female lawyers are juggling more plates than people realise, and that isn’t a personal failing
During the session, there was a real sense of how much women are holding at once.
People talked about plate spinning, diary clashes, children, teenagers, and the ongoing mental load that sits on women’s shoulders even as they power through demanding legal jobs.
Linda normalised this in a very helpful way.
She emphasised that many women think they’re “not coping,” when in reality:
It’s not a capability issue - it’s the sheer volume of what you’re carrying.
She reminded us that female lawyers often operate under intense personal and professional demands, and still show up brilliantly.
It made me think of the joke my husband and I have about “doing it wrong” - a phrase we borrowed from a comedy song by Adam Buxton. Linda’s message was a good reminder that it’s not us… it’s the load.
4. You don’t need huge amounts of time to take care of yourself, but you do need to recognise what actually replenishes you
Linda encouraged us to look at micro-rest rather than waiting for a spa weekend that never comes.
She shared a coaching example of a lawyer who adored a weekly dance class because of how it made her feel: energised, confident and relaxed. When life got too busy for the class, Linda helped her identify other, smaller ways to access the same feeling.
The takeaway from this is, rather than throwing all self-care into the bin, to ask ourselves:
What does this activity give me, and how else can I get that in 5 or 10 minutes?
It might be:
A five-minute walk
A phone call with someone who makes you laugh
A quiet cup of tea with no phone
Three songs you love
A ten-minute stretch
Sitting in your car for two minutes before going into the house (!)
Small is still powerful.
I was slightly sceptical of this until I tried it out.
On a very busy day last week, I went for a walk which lasted no more than 10 minutes. Despite its brevity, I felt so much better afterwards. Ordinarily I wouldn’t have bothered because I would have doubted it would have any impact – turns out even short breaks can make a big difference!
5. Career fulfilment comes from clarity about your needs, not from pushing harder
Linda explained that when women feel overwhelmed, we often assume the answer is to push harder or try and get more organised. In reality, it’s usually about stepping back, getting clear on what truly matters, and taking some of the pressure off yourself - not trying to be perfect.
She encouraged everyone to ask themselves this question:
What do I want my life to look and feel like, and what needs to change for that to happen?
This is the heart of sustainable success.
6. The legal profession is changing, and women are rewriting the rules
Another theme that really resonated was Linda’s insight into the later-career season many of her clients are in.
She works with a lot of women in their late 40s and 50s, and she noted that once children are older or have left home, life often opens up in new ways. Women find themselves with a little more space, a little more energy, and sometimes even a sense of rediscovery.
As Linda put it, this stage can feel very different, not because the demands disappear, but because there’s finally room to think about yourself again.
For many women, this is the moment when questions start to surface naturally, such as:
“What do I want life to look like now?”
“How do I want to use my time?”
“What feels right for the next chapter of my career?”
Linda talked about how this stage often brings a different kind of energy - the space to lift your head, reassess, and imagine what the next chapter could look like.
Final thought
Linda left us with an important reminder: your needs will change as your life changes, and your career should have the flexibility to change with you.
Giving yourself permission to notice what you need right now is one of the most powerful things you can do.
I couldn’t agree more.
The replay is now live in the members’ hub, alongside dozens of masterclasses, resources, templates, and the private community that makes this all feel lighter and less lonely.
If you’re not yet a member and you’d love this kind of support every month, we’d love to welcome you.
Enjoy the rest of your week.
Rachel