How I got networking all wrong
I was usually the last to arrive, having left work late trying to finish an urgent piece of work, and then struggling to figure out where on earth the event was being held. Speed-walking round the block a few times before realising I’d walked past the correct entrance 10 minutes ago.
I’d turn up, grab a drink from the nearest waiter and hope for the best, awkwardly crowbarring my way into conversations with the social finesse of a toddler on their first day at play group.
I’d grab one of the free snacks as I’d not eaten and didn’t want to drink wine on an empty stomach, only to worry I’d accidentally spit out the food in the face of the person I was chatting to.
I had no idea who anyone was.
Honestly, it’s a miracle I have a career at all.
How to Deal with a Nightmare Boss
Unfortunately, working with difficult people is sometimes part of the job of being a lawyer. I think the law can attract people with inflated egos or twisted personalities who like to psychologically stamp on others. These types may well bill large amounts and their managers are unwilling to take action against them as a result. Or your firm may otherwise have a very hands-off approach to HR issues, leaving you to get on with it or leave.
If you’re in that scenario at the moment, I’m sorry. I know it’s really hard. I’ve encountered a few bullies in my career and I know how tough it can be. This will pass, I promise.
How to Never feel Nervous Again
You can never guarantee what will happen, or what you will achieve in a particular situation. If you tether your confidence on a particular outcome, you will always feel uneasy as you’ll forever be worrying about the threat of failure.
You can however guarantee to make your best effort. Therefore, if you choose the basis of best effort, you will have full control. You will see life as full of opportunities and you can feel confident knowing that you can deal with the consequences. Just like that…poofff! The fear is gone!
Public Speaking, anyone?
I’d planned as well as I could. This included writing out a full script in case I lost my way.
I’m still scarred from the horror of watching a colleague completely freeze in front of a boardroom full of clients and colleagues years ago, as she completely lost her way during her talk and ended up silently walking out midway through.
It was the stuff of nightmares. I was on immediately after her, so couldn’t even check if she was ok. Ever since that day, I’ve made fairly detailed notes before any presentation so, if all else fails, I can at least read the notes and muddle through. Some people can pitch up and just talk really well, with no prompts. I’m not one of those people. And that’s ok.