How I got networking all wrong
“We must overcome the notion that we must be regular. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre.”
Have you ever been to a networking event and felt just, well, horrible? Awkwardly attempting small talk whilst fighting a strong urge to leg it through the nearest fire exit?
As an introvert, my enthusiasm for going to networking events has historically been somewhat muted. And yet, I often went anyway just because I thought it was the thing that ambitious lawyer types did.
But I went about it all cack-handed.
I was usually the last to arrive, having left work late trying to finish an urgent piece of work, and then struggling to figure out where on earth the event was being held. Speed-walking round the block a few times before realising I’d walked past the correct entrance 10 minutes ago.
I’d turn up, grab a drink from the nearest waiter and hope for the best, awkwardly crowbarring my way into conversations with the social finesse of a toddler on their first day at play group.
I’d grab one of the free snacks as I’d not eaten and didn’t want to drink wine on an empty stomach, only to worry I’d accidentally spit out the food in the face of the person I was chatting to.
I had no idea who anyone was.
Honestly, it’s a miracle I have a career at all.
And yet - here I am! My network is actually one of my strongest areas now. Maybe it was my perseverance in the face of getting it wrong so many times. Maybe people appreciated my lack of artifice in conversations (I’m Northern; I don’t see the point). I for one appreciate it when I meet someone else who freely admits to feeling like a fish out of water, especially when it seems as though everyone is doing their finest impression of “fancy legal person at a networking event”.
Last week in Female Lawyers’ Club we had the lovely Sarah Bryer of Show/Girl Coaching in to talk to us about confident networking. She gave us so many great tips, I thought I would share some of them with you. God knows I could have used these a few years ago.
Go prepared! Ask for a list of attendees before you go. Then look up anyone who may be interesting or useful to talk to.
Consider reaching out to a few people from the list in advance and mention that you’re going and would they like to chat. That way, they won’t be surprised when you accost them by the bar, and you have an instant conversation starter rather than resorting to boring weather chat.
Familiarise yourself with the format of the event in advance. Ascertain which parts you will find uncomfortable and have a plan for how you will deal with those aspects.
Research the hosts – what have they done recently? That way you can mention this when you see them and again will feel more assured and part of things.
TURN UP EARLY! The capitals are a reminder for myself. I’ll ignore it, of course. But I know this is a good strategy. Don’t be me, and turn up late and flustered to every single event you ever go to. If you turn up early you can greet people when they arrive and turn the focus on being helpful, rather than on feeling awkward. One day I too will achieve this miracle.
Get your elevator pitch ready in advance – can you say what you do in one sentence so anyone will instantly “get” it? Practice this out loud if you’re unsure.
Visualise it going well before you go. How will you stand? What will you say? What thoughts will you have about yourself and the people around you that will help you show up as your best self?
Remember to follow up after the event with the people you meet with a quick email or text and connect on LinkedIn. If you can bring value by giving a recommendation or introduction following your discussion then so much the better.
There were many more great tips shared by Sarah in her session. If you want to catch the replay then you’re welcome to join our community; you can sign up here:
As well as our wonderful guest speakers, a real benefit to our community are the insights shared by members during the session. Many of us are senior lawyers who are very happy to share our experiences for the benefit of the group.
I, in particular, love sharing my pratfalls. I want to pull back the curtain on what it means to be a successful lawyer, and to encourage junior lawyers who feel they may be “doing it all wrong” to keep going.
Do you have any great networking tips you can share? I’d love to know!
~Rachel