The 3 Questions That Change How You Handle Any Challenge
“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried—but you’ve actually been planted.”
Last week in Female Lawyers’ Club, we held a masterclass with Michelle Leivars on resilience and it was one of the most powerful sessions we’ve ever hosted.
Michelle didn’t just talk about resilience—she embodied it.
She opened up about the breakdown she experienced after her business failed, the health crisis that followed, and the moment she seriously questioned whether she could go on. Michelle told us her story with unflinching honesty and it was so moving. But what came next was even more inspiring.
Michelle told us how, through therapy and deep self-reflection, she began to rebuild her life—and what emerged was a powerful framework she now shares with others: The 3W’s of Resilience.
These three questions can help you reframe any difficult situation:
What can I learn?
Which direction does this take me?
Who can I help?
The first and second questions are about reframing the situation so it helps you. The third question encourages you to use what you’ve learned to support others—whether that’s mentoring a junior colleague, sharing your story, or simply being the voice of empathy for someone else facing a similar challenge.
From business setbacks to personal struggles, Michelle showed us how this simple method creates clarity, lightens the emotional load, and leads to growth—even in the darkest moments. Michelle went on to set up a coaching and mentoring business and also co-founded Fight Forward, a charity set up to help domestic abuse survivors rebuild their lives through boxing. She has won awards for her work and is the living embodiment of resilience.
In our session last week, we applied the 3W’s to challenges in a legal career:
Being replaced on a client file after maternity leave
Getting passed over for promotion
Receiving harsh feedback despite working long hours on a project
Each time, we found the questions gave us a helpful reframe and changed our view on what had previously seemed to be an entirely negative situation.
It was a powerful reminder that resilience isn’t about being unaffected—it’s about asking better questions when life doesn’t go to plan.
If you take one thing from this summary of Michelle’s session, let it be this: your hardest moments may hold the seeds of your next breakthrough.
Enjoy the rest of your week,
Rachel