Why Women Lawyers Must Negotiate their Pay Differently from Men

“No one will ever pay you what you’re worth. They’ll only pay you what they think you’re worth. And you control their thinking.”

— Casey Brown

It’s no secret that the gender pay gap persists in the legal profession. Women lawyers, on average, earn less than their male counterparts—despite often having the same experience and expertise. But what’s less talked about is why this happens and, more importantly, what women can do about it.

The truth is, women can’t negotiate their salaries in the same way men do—not because they lack the skills, but because the way society perceives women in negotiations is fundamentally different. Research, including insights from the excellent books Women Don’t Ask by Linda Babcock and Ask for More by Alexandra Carter, shows that women face unique challenges when it comes to pay discussions. The good news is that, with the right strategies, female lawyers can successfully negotiate higher salaries, bonuses, and better financial outcomes.

Here’s how.

The challenges women face in salary negotiations

1. Women are less likely to negotiate at all.

   Studies show that men are four times more likely than women to initiate salary negotiations. Many women fear that asking for more will make them seem ungrateful, demanding, or difficult to work with.

2. Women are judged more harshly when they negotiate.

   When men negotiate assertively, they’re often seen as confident and strong. When women do the same, they can be perceived as aggressive and/or unlikable. This unconscious bias makes negotiations riskier for women. Infuriating but true.

3. Women undervalue their worth.

   Many women assume that their work will “speak for itself” and that they’ll be rewarded if they just work hard enough. Unfortunately, this isn’t how law firms operate—promotions and pay rises often go to those who actively advocate for them.

How women lawyers can negotiate effectively

If women can’t negotiate the same way men do, what’s the best approach? The key is to use a combination of data, framing, and relationship-building to navigate negotiations successfully.

Here’s how to go about it:

1. Reframe the request as a collaborative discussion

Instead of positioning the conversation as a demand, frame it as a problem-solving discussion. For example:

✅ Instead of: “I need a pay rise because I’m underpaid compared to others.”
✅ Try: “I’d like to discuss how my salary can better reflect the value I bring to the firm.”

This reduces the likelihood of backlash while keeping the conversation focused on business needs.

2. Use market data to support your case

Firms respond to facts and figures, not just opinions. Before negotiating, research salary benchmarks for your role. You can:

• Check salary surveys from legal recruitment firms.

• Speak to recruiters about market rates.

• Ask trusted colleagues in similar roles.

Use this data to present a clear, evidence-based case:
👉 “Based on market rates and my performance over the past year, I believe an adjustment to £X would be appropriate.”

3. Highlight the value you bring (not just effort)

Sometimes we focus on how hard they’ve worked rather than the results we’ve delivered. Firms pay for value, not just effort. Instead of saying:

❌ “I’ve worked long hours and taken on more responsibility.”

✅ Say: “Over the past year, I’ve brought in X new clients, increased team revenue by Y%, and taken on Z leadership roles. I’d love to discuss how my salary can reflect these contributions.”

4. Use “we” instead of “I”

Women often get better results when they position their requests in a way that benefits the firm, not just themselves.

Instead of:
❌ “I want a raise because I deserve it.”
✅ Try: “I’ve contributed significantly to the firm’s success, and I’d love to continue growing here. I would like to explore how my salary can align with that.”

This approach feels collaborative rather than confrontational, reducing the risk of backlash.

5. Prepare for objections (and have responses ready)

Most firms will push back at first. Be ready to handle objections calmly:

🚫 “We don’t have the budget.”
✅ “I understand budgets are tight, but given my contributions, are there other ways we can adjust my package, such as a performance-based bonus?”

🚫 “Now isn’t the right time.”
✅ “I appreciate that timing is important. Can we agree to revisit this in three months and set clear expectations for what I need to achieve to secure an increase?”

Final thoughts

While women face different challenges in pay negotiations, these strategies can help them navigate the conversation with confidence.

Your work is valuable. Make sure your pay reflects it.

Rachel

Ps the quote for this week comes from this TED talk by Casey Brown – well worth a watch.