Why some networking events feel effortless (and others don't)
You know the feeling. You walk into a networking event and you're on. You remember names, people laugh at your jokes, you leave feeling like you could take on the world. Then a few weeks later, you walk into the same room and you can barely string a sentence together and are dreading speaking to anyone. You want to leave the second you arrive.
You're the same person, with the same skills, in the same kind of room. Yet the experience feels completely different.
How can we be two different people? The answer may be hormones.
Is apologising gendered?
Occasionally the idea for a blog doesn't so much suggest itself as smack me in the face and insist that I write it. This is one such occasion.
This was prompted by three separate incidents in fairly short order. I was on the receiving end of suboptimal behaviour from three different people, and on none of these occasions did the person apologise. I say “people” when what I actually mean is “men”, and it gave me pause to wonder whether the propensity to apologise, or not, is gendered. I had a suspicion that it was, and this prompted me to look into it further.
I thought I was the only one
"I quoted lower, but I could have quoted higher. Why did I never learn?" (said by a senior lawyer at a Female Lawyers' Club fees and billing session)
For years, saying my fees out loud made me want to apologise mid-sentence. I'd say the number and immediately look for ways to make it sound better, or justify it. I assumed this was a personal failing, something everyone else had grown out of.
It turns out it wasn't just me at all.
Nobody asked me why I was leaving
Nobody asked me why I was leaving.
Colleagues asked, plenty of them, out of real curiosity. But across six different law firms, over more than twenty years, after I’d announced I was leaving each firm, nobody ever sat me down properly - not once.
We already know women leave this profession in numbers that should worry every firm. Around a third of female solicitors leave between five and ten years after qualifying, and don't come back (Law Society, 2022). Women make up the majority of solicitors and a fraction of equity partners. None of that is news to anyone reading this.