The Day Empathy Won the Contract
“I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it.”
It was one of the biggest pitches of my career.
A large public sector organisation was seeking lawyers to deliver training to its entire workforce, thousands of people across the UK.
But this wasn’t just any training. It had been formally recommended in a high-profile independent review, following serious concerns about how the organisation had responded to internal issues. The stakes were high. This was about restoring trust, protecting reputations, and ultimately safeguarding the people the organisation served.
The contract was worth six figures but, more importantly, it was about integrity, safety, and doing right by the people this organisation served.
A male colleague and I were invited to pitch. We delivered our presentation and answered all the technical questions. On the surface, everything went smoothly.
But during the Q&A, I noticed something.
One of the senior decision-makers had become quieter. Her posture had shifted. She looked unconvinced, not about our competence, but something else. I sensed hesitation. Doubt.
I trusted what I was picking up.
So I paused, and said something that wasn’t in the script.
“This wouldn’t be just another contract for us. We’d be honoured to deliver this training. We understand the responsibility that comes with it, and the trust you’re placing in whoever is awarded the work. We would approach it with the care and integrity it deserves.”
I saw her shoulders relax. She smiled.
We got the contract.
On the way back, my colleague turned to me and said, “That was you. I didn’t even notice she had doubts, but you did, and you addressed them.”
That moment stuck with me.
Because what won that pitch wasn’t legal brilliance.
It was empathy.
It was emotional intelligence.
It was tuning in to the emotion behind the brief, and responding to the human need for trust and reassurance.
These are the qualities I used to think I needed to hide. The ones that felt “too soft” for the legal world.
Now, I know better.
In fact, I believe those so-called “feminine” traits, such as empathy, intuition and emotional intelligence, aren’t just useful. They’re essential.
I’m writing more about this in my forthcoming book chapter for Beyond Bias, on how the traits traditionally seen as feminine are actually the future of legal leadership, and why we must start valuing them properly.
If you’ve ever used empathy, emotional intelligence, vulnerability or intuition to navigate a tricky situation or achieve a brilliant outcome, I’d love to hear about it. Please reply and let me know your story. I may be able to include it (with your permission) in a future article or post.
Let’s stop hiding the qualities that make us effective. They’re not weaknesses. They’re superpowers.
Enjoy the rest of your week.
Rachel